pamela burford

A red-hot "Big Chill"!

"If you love reunion stories, then I've got the book for you."

Frank stared openly as Dena sauntered to the deep end and stepped onto the diving board. But he wasn't the reason she faltered just as her muscles tensed for the leap. Every nerve ending had gone on red alert--her feminine radar again.

Her gaze was drawn to the redwood deck, where she saw Gabe leaning on the railing precisely where she'd stood not two minutes before. He was wearing khaki shorts and a dark green T-shirt stretched tight in all the right places. She held his gaze for a few moments, until he hid his eyes behind a pair of impenetrably dark sunglasses.

Concentrate, Dena commanded herself. She focused on the crystalline water, on her form and timing, and executed a flawless dive. The cold water swallowed her, surged past her as she bowed her body upward and propelled herself to the surface. She immediately went into a crawl stroke, not pausing when she reached the shallow end where Frank was docked but ducking into a tight racing turn, kicking off the wall, and returning to the deep end, where she tossed her wet hair off her face and began treading water.

Dena's gaze automatically homed in on the redwood deck, only to find it deserted.

"I forgot what a good swimmer you are," Gabe said, from directly behind her.

She turned and squinted up at him, wishing he were more than an indistinct blur looming over her, backlit by the brilliant sunshine. Dena felt exposed and vulnerable.

She said, "I swim every day."

"Kept up your membership at the Y?"

"I have a pool."

His eyebrows rose. Like Frank, Gabe probably assumed she still groomed dogs for a living. Movement in the corner of her vision drew her attention to Frank, who hoisted his Nimitz-class bulk out of the chaise and slung his towel over a shoulder. He said, "I'm gonna go see if there's any of that French toast left."

Gabe said, "Lunch is in less than an hour."

"I worked up an appetite swimming," Frank said, and set off across the yard to the house.

"How much swimming did he actually do?" Gabe asked, once their housemate was out of earshot.

"I couldn't say. Didn't get to witness that particular spectacle." Dena leaned into a back float and sculled away from Gabe. "You just going to stand there watching, or are you coming in?"

"I'm not wearing trunks."

"You don't need trunks." She glanced toward the house. "No one's watching."

He just stood there. Unable to discern his expression, Dena said, "Maybe it's not such a good idea, after all. Andrea could come out any minute."

"Meaning what?"

"Meaning she might think there's more going on here than a little innocent skinny-dipping."

He crossed his arms. "And why precisely should I care what Andrea
thinks?"

At the shallow end now, Dena stood. The water came up to her waist. "So come on in, then. The water's perfect."

Gabe stalked to her end of the pool. "I want an answer. Why do you think something like that would bother Andrea? And why, even if it did, do you imagine I would care?"

She smiled. "You're such a lawyer. Nice to know Daddy's tuition money wasn't wasted."

Obviously Gabe wanted her to believe he and Andrea weren't an item--another too-little-too-late attempt to spare Dena's feelings, most likely. After all, Gabe and Andrea had worked side by side for the last eight years since earning their law degrees from Harvard, their fathers' alma mater. Their mutual attraction was anything but a secret. And, too, most men harbored a special fondness for their first lover, or so it was said.

Neither Gabe nor Andrea had married, which meant they'd probably had some kind of on-again, off-again thing going for fifteen years.

Gabe sighed. "I don't remember you being such a pain in the ass back in high school."

"Are you sure? There must've been some reason you betrayed me."

There. She'd said it. He became very still, very quiet. The seconds ticked by. From the nearby woods came the rustle of small animals, the low hum of insect life.

Quietly he said, "I thought you weren't interested in reasons."

She swallowed hard and looked away. How could it still hurt, after fifteen years? How could she let it twist her insides like this?

She heard movement, and looked up to see Gabe walk around the end of the pool. He stopped at the point closest to her and squatted there, forearms on his thighs. He pulled off his wire-rimmed sunglasses and let them dangle from his long fingers. The sun was no longer behind him, and she saw him clearly.

He said, "Why didn't you let me explain, Dena? Why did you refuse to listen?"

She took a deep breath. "You told me you loved me. I was going to be your first, and you mine." Dena was horrified by the tightness in her throat, the burning in her eyes, but she'd kept the words bottled up for fifteen years, and they wouldn't be stopped now. "We waited, Gabe, and I used to think how beautiful it was going to be when we finally gave ourselves to each other."

"So did I. Dena--"

"And the worst part was, I had to hear about it in school, from Rhonda, and Dave, and...and everyone. They tripped over themselves, wanting to be the one to tell me. Do you have any idea what that was like?" Gabe must have bragged about his conquest to everyone he knew. The news had spread through the school at light speed.

She hadn't known he could look so miserable, but she rushed on, helpless to stop now that the dam had burst. "You had no problem necking with me in a dark movie theater, or making out in your Camaro at the duck pond, but God forbid your father's snooty colleagues should find out what a low-class girl you were dating. I never even knew the firm was going to have that stupid reception at the country club. You never told me."

"I didn't want you hurt."

"You didn't want to be seen with the janitor's daughter! You were too ashamed! So you took Andrea instead. You took her to the reception and you took her out on that damn golf course and you had sex with her there." Dena was breathing hard, trembling with fury and humiliation, as if it had happened yesterday.

Gabe's head was bowed. He gripped the sunglasses so hard it was a wonder they didn't snap. He raised his face and said, "I never tried to excuse what I did, I just wanted to explain. I still do."

"Let me ask you one thing. If I'd done what you did, If I'd snuck around behind your back and dated some other guy, if I'd had sex with him after everything you and I had meant to each other, promised each other...would you have been interested in explanations?"

Gabe's features were rigid, his expression intense. "No," he said at last.

The twinge of satisfaction Dena felt did nothing to assuage the ache in her chest. She'd scratched open an old wound that had never been given a chance to heal, and she wished she'd left it alone.